


Crossroad

by last_angel



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Gen, I wasn't really going anywhere with this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-07
Updated: 2013-11-07
Packaged: 2017-12-31 17:50:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1034619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/last_angel/pseuds/last_angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two lone souls finding themselves in the crossroad between life and death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crossroad

**Author's Note:**

> The summary my sound cool but it's just crap. I just had this random idea in class and started writing. Doesn't have any special meaning but I like it.
> 
> I missed a very important statistics lesson because of this so I hope you like it.

Shinji stirs slowly regaining consciousness. His back hurts when he moves, it’s stiff and his muscles are soar. He opens his eyes but he sees nothing. He blinks to adjust his sight but again there is only black. It’s not pitch black, he can see himself. He sees his arms and legs but nothing else, as if he were trapped in a room painted black. 

Shinji tries to recall where he was last but his mind draws a blank. It’s empty just like the room. He stands and brushes the nonexistent dust off his pants and proceeds to explore the area. It is much vaster than he had first imagined. There seems to be no end to it. He starts to feel butterflies in his stomach but ignores them and walks on.

He walks for what seems like hours but the scenery doesn’t change. He never reaches a wall or turn. He doesn’t hear a sound or feel a breeze. The fluttering in his stomach increases and he starts to scream names in hopes of finding someone.

Misato! Rei! Asuka! Mom! Dad! ANYONE.....help.

He calls their names over and over again all the while his heart is beating faster and his breaths come out shorter. A knot forms in his throat and his eyes start to sting as tears threaten to come out. He screams louder every time more desperate, his voice breaking once in a while. It then started to tremble as his tears start to flow until finally nothing more than whimpers come out. He takes in a sharp breath. It’s become almost impossible to breath but he’s too scared to stop running.

No one is here, no one can save me. I’m all alone.

It gets loud as his anxieties make noises in his head. He hears his negative thoughts taking over talking louder and louder with every step he took. Suddenly, a sound out in the distance silences them all at once. It goes quiet and Shinji stops running out of surprise. He starts to wonder if he had even heard anything in the first place but then he hears it again. It’s quiet and soft but Shinji feels a sharp pain in his chest at the sound of it. It’s lonely and pleading, those quiet sobs that seem to be reverberating from every direction. Shinji swivels around searching for the origin of the sound but there is no one in sight yet the sound is now very clear and very close.

Shinji could now make out words. “Sorry. I’m sorry”, They repeat over and over again. A light begins to glow and Shinji turns to find the darkness has been broken by it a little while away. He starts to walk towards it his dry tears leaving streaks down his face. He can clearly see how the darkness dissolves around him, as he gets closer. At the center of the light there lies a person. They are on the ground bent over holding their head in their hands. Shinji can see their shoulders shaking slightly as they continued to whisper apologies. 

Shinji stops a few feet away from the character fear unexpectedly taking over. The light is right in front of him, it’s radiating from the broken personality. He can see it shining brightly but his brilliance suddenly seemed frightening. He didn’t want to leave his darkness; he didn’t want to let the shadows disappear but he didn’t want to be alone either. He refuses to move and decides it’s best to stay here in the border between light and dark and just observe the other from afar. But he can’t, it’s too painful to just watch. His heart constrict painfully in his chest with every sob that reaches his ears. Shinji abandons his fears and takes a step closer.

“Are you ok?”

His voice sounds distant like an echo and he’s not sure if the other has heard him but then an answer is given.

“Again, I failed again. I failed again, again, again. I’m sorry I couldn’t do it. I’m sorry I failed him again. I’m sorry.”

Their voice is raw from crying and Shinji knows it must hurt to let their voice out but they keep saying, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry”. Shinji is at a loss for he doesn’t know what the other is talking about but he continues to ask.

“Is there anything you can do to fix it? Is it possible to try again?”

The other shakes his head in response making himself smaller.

“No. I can’t anymore. I just can’t. I’m so tired and it hurts. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to go through another failure.”

Shinji keeps coming closer. He wants to see the stranger’s face but he just keeps hugging himself tighter refusing to look up.

“It can’t hurt to try one more time. You’ve gotten this far so maybe you could try this one last time?”

He wasn’t one to be giving advice. God knows how many times he had given up himself but he also knew that nothing would come of it. 

“He hates me. He must hate me by now after all the pain I’ve put him through. I’m scared.”

Shinji is now standing before the boy. He kneels down but doesn’t touch him. He still can’t bring himself to cross that line, to accept another without question.

“How could he hate you? After everything you must’ve been through. After everything you’ve done for him, I’m sure he can’t hate you. He could never hate you.”

A sob gets caught in the boy’s throat as he tries to answer. He has to try a few times before he can get the words out.

“There’s no point. It’s impossible. I knew it was impossible from the start but I just wanted to see him smile again. All I wanted was for him to be able to keep smiling. Forever.”

Shinji runs his fingers through the other’s hair. It was soft and smooth. He had been wondering for a while, he wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t see any features on the boy only pure white light. He knew it was a boy, it had the shape of a boy and though his voice sounded distant he new it was a boy, somehow. But all Shinji could see was an inverse silhouette. Nevertheless, Shinji embraced him, gently forcing him out of his protective stand pressing their bodies close together. 

“No one can smile forever. That really is an impossible wish but maybe you can start by granting a smaller wish, an easier wish. Maybe you should start by granting your own.”

Shinji feels the boy relax in his arms. Their sobbing had ceased and their breathing had become normal. They gently grabbed on to his shirt and pulled him closer.

“My wish? Grant my own wish.”

He was whispering to himself in awe as if barely realizing this was a possibility.

“Yes. What is it you wish for?”

The boy becomes still and silent. It’s so quiet Shinji can’t even hear the other breathe but he can feel their heartbeats beating slowing to the same rhythm, almost as if they were becoming one.

“I- I want to be with him! I don’t want to leave him behind anymore. I don’t care how but I just want to be able to stay by his side.”

He was now desperately clinging onto Shinji resting his head on the crook of Shinji’s neck. Shinji hugged him back gently patting his head a smile spreading on his face. Again, he couldn’t explain it but hearing his answer made him extremely happy. It filled him with such joy. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy.

“Then you should do just that. I’m sure that will make them happy as well.”

Kaworu could practically hear the smile in the shadow’s voice, which is all he had been seeing for quite a while. The thing he was embracing was nothing more than a dark figure; a silhouette but it comforted him nonetheless. His voice was fragile but warm and nostalgic. This had never happened before. He had never met another being that wasn’t an angel during the times he had been dormant, when he had not yet been reborn into another world. For the first time in a very long time he felt at peace. 

“Thank You.”

Kaworu whispers as his tears start to flow freely from his eyes once more. Shinji breaks the hug only to find Kaworu’s face with his hands. The bright light blinds him and Shinji is unable to see his face but still he smiles. He hopes the other can see how happy he is for him. And with closed eyes Shinji does not see the surprise in Kaworu’s face when the darkness is blown away. He doesn’t see those dark red eyes widen in surprise as his light illuminates his face and he can see. He can see Shinji giving him that smile he had been longing for. Nor does Shinji see the smile the angel offers in return. Both their smiles are pure reflections of each other, of their feelings. They both reflect loneliness, despair, hope and love. Kaworu pulls Shinji down bringing their lips together before whispering one final:

“Thank You.”

**Author's Note:**

> Their lips are breaths away from each other but Shinji is pulled out of the abyss as his soul is reborn in a new loop before they can touch. Kaworu smiles sadly, "This time I will bring you happiness." 
> 
>  
> 
> Hahahahahaha. NO!  
> Sorry this has no real meaning I just felt like writing something abstract.


End file.
